Define Your Style: A 6-Minute Guide

There is one question I field more than any other from friends and followers: How do I change my style? A literal interpretation of the question prompts an easy answer. You can change your style by wearing different clothes and adjusting your cosmetics routine.

But that answer doesn’t address the spirit of the question, which is better expressed as: What do I want my style to be? In other words, if you’re feeling uncertain about how to upgrade your style, it’s usually time to strengthen your personal fashion sense.

With a strong personal fashion sense, you are opinionated about what you like, and you know what looks good on you. You don’t have to question your next style evolution. You let your style intuition guide you and feel confident about your choices.

So my mission for today is to provide you with seven easy strategies for developing your personal fashion sense and intuition. If I were a psychic promising accurate psychic readings like these folks, this post is sort of like me handing you the crystal ball or the tea leaves and showing you how to read your own future.

If you’re ready to take charge of your style, let’s dive in.

Know your shape

To have a strong fashion sense, you must know what looks good on you. Start by assessing your shape. If you need to, have a friend draw your outline on a mirror with a dry erase marker. Then step away from the reflection and analyze your outline objectively.

Balanced shapes, human or otherwise, are pleasing to the eye. Clothes that are most flattering to your shape are those that add balance and symmetry. They might, for example, add fullness to narrow hips, streamline a larger bust, or add the appearance of length to shorter legs.

Think about this concept of balance as you evaluate your shape. You could even use your dry erase marker to make adjustments that enhance your symmetry. Once you do that, you’ll find it’s much easier to find clothes that flatter. Just remember two things:

1. Pleats, embellishments, ruffles, horizontal hemlines, and bright colors can emphasize certain areas or add the appearance of volume.
2. Form fitting clothes and dark colors can de-emphasize and visually streamline problem areas.

Shop in stores

Online shopping brings many conveniences, but it fails in one key area: You can’t try on the clothes, at least not immediately. The in-store try-on experience provides immediate feedback, which is necessary for defining your fashion sense. Some fitting room exercises to try include:

1. Test a theory about which styles will flatter your shape. If you’re thinking ruffle tops will give you a curvier bust and offset wider hips, try it. With a positive result, you can seek out other design elements that may deliver the same effect, such as a deep v-neck or pleated shoulders.
2. Test the opposite of the above theory. Continuing with our example of the ruffle top, you might also try a sleek top paired with pleated, wide-legged pants. You might not like this look at all, which is also useful feedback.
3. Try one size up and one size down of everything. You might be investing in the wrong sizes and not know it.
4. Experiment with colors and patterns. Choose colors and patterns outside your comfort zone.

The point of all this is to learn what styles, shapes, colors, patterns, and outfit combos you like through experimentation.

Browse magazines

Fashion magazines are still the realm of the runway model, even though they have made strides to be more inclusive. If you can ignore the perfectionism embedded in the pages of Vogue, you can take inspiration from the imagery.

Browse these magazines intentionally and critically to refine your own fashion sense. Think about the styles, shapes, and colors you like and which you don’t. Look at the use of accessories and makeup to complement the clothes. Soon enough, you’ll form opinions that will become the foundation of your personal style.

Notice what colleagues and friends are wearing

You can take the same approach with friends and colleagues. You don’t need to be judgmental about what other people wear, but you can evaluate others’ style choices relative to your own preferences.

Evaluate TV and film outfits

TV and film are also sources of style learning and inspiration. I compulsively analyze the outfit and beauty choices of female news anchors, for example. I’ve found Savannah Guthrie’s penchant for metallics inspiring. Same goes for Hoda Kotb’s habit of baring her arms.

Pay attention to fit on others

Fit deserves its own discussion as it’s an essential and often overlooked element of style. Not knowing what kind of clothes you like can be a problem that’s rooted in poor fit.

If you don’t have a shape that fits into a conventional, mass-produced size, gapped fabric, puckers, and pinching can result. Those things are not flattering and, worse, they’re usually uncomfortable. More importantly, when you have ongoing fit issues, it’s easy to opt out of style without really knowing why.

To uncover fit problems, start noticing how clothes fit other people. This is an observation exercise, not a judgmental one. Just note how fit can be good or bad. Good fit shows up as clean lines and smooth drapes. Bad fit, as noted, puckers and pinches.

As you sharpen your sense of fit in others, you’ll become more aware of the way clothes fit you. Look for recurring problems, such as tops being too wide or narrow in the shoulder. Some issues can be resolved with different shapes and fabrics, but you may also need to find an experienced tailor.

Start basic

If you don’t gravitate towards styles you like through observation, then start analyzing fashion in terms of opposites. For example, do you like:

• Straight, sleek lines or flow and movement
• Bright colors or muted ones
• Patterns or the simplicity of solids
• Casual or dressy
• Button-downs or tee shirts

You could also turn this into a game of “would you rather” with a good friend. For example, would you rather wear a boho dress and a leather bracelet with sandals or a clean pair of straight-leg jeans with a three-button vest over a tee shirt? You can then make a note of the preferences that arise and go shopping to try out your ideas.

Finding your style

Developing a fashion sense that feels uniquely you comes through observation and experimentation, followed by a good dose of confidence in your choices. Know that your style doesn’t have to be trendy or formal — it just has to feel like you. And whatever that is, it’s perfect. For a more involved discussion of this topic, see my book, Budget Fashionista: Find Your Fabulous.

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